Mad careers: conforming to non-conformity and the desolation of distinctions

In this video recording of a class for the School For A Course In Miracles – SFACIM curriculum graciously hosted by Lyn Corona and Tim Wise), we explore how we benefit by looking at our tendency to want to be distinct as egos and allow Holy Spirit to repurpose that specialness; transforming mad careers into sane forgiveness.

When I was an adolescent, I couldn’t figure out how to fit into the world and I fanned the “there must be a better way” idea from a spark to a flame. Thoughts along these twisted lines continued the existing ego mental progression from the “terrible twos” – already a big clue about the tyranny of dualistic thinking – into so-called adulthood. Ken Wapnick reminds us we are all spiritual infants, and nowhere in ACIM does the author refer to us as adults. This is actually a tremendous blessing, since if our minds – I’ll speak for myself at least – if my mind were close to maturity, then I’d be in serious trouble! Our divided minds are a toxic waste dump of a plethora of permutations of the sin-guilt-fear thought system, but fortunately, these fantasies have had zero destructive impact on our Real (purely non-dual) Identity! This fits nicely with a favorite Course quote:

“If this were the real world, God would be cruel.” (ACIM, T-13.in.3:1)

One form that the timid and occasional “better way” exploration took during my high school years was to read many of the metaphysical books in my mother’s ever-expanding library, rather than conforming to more “normal” teenage pursuits. I “prided” myself on being “different” too, and one day – in amused horror – realized that I was conforming to non-conformity! Oh no!!! Just another authority problem instigated by a rebellious thought system, wanting to be different?

So what’s the core of this desperate struggle we all seem to have to be different, to distinguish our “selves” from all the “other selves” … “out there”? We think that as long as we can maintain uniqueness, a personality, and a set of defining characteristics, we can then project our unconscious, unfounded guilt onto everyone “else” and that will somehow work… It never does, but that’s the last thing any self-disrespecting ego ever wants to consider! The Course reminds us of our incessant preoccupation with fabricating a fraudulent identity – a maladaptive solution to a non-existent problem:

“I do not know the thing I am, and therefore do not know what I am doing, where I am, or how to look upon the world or on myself.” (ACIM, T-31.V.17:7)

This obsession takes countless forms, and some of them are culture-specific, age-specific, gender-specific, and on and on, but they are all silly and forgivable, yet must be seen with Holy Spirit’s vision to be forgiven and released. One way to slice and dice our intrinsic Unity (or seem to) is to define our livelihood or career as a primary way of keeping our identity apart from other identities. Of course, our real career is forgiving all apparent distinctions, but our ego won’t have any of that!

2. Father, I come to You today, because I would not follow any way but Yours. ²You are beside me. ³Certain is Your way. ⁴And I am grateful for Your holy gifts of certain sanctuary, and escape from everything that would obscure my love for God my Father and His holy Son.”

(ACIM, W-298.1:1–2:4)

Any special love or special hate relationship we have with specifics in this world may describe our “mad career” with ego addiction. … However, with help from our Inner Kindness Teacher, we don’t need to change jobs (or anything) on the level of form, just unlearn ego’s misinterpretation of projected guilt and allow the intrinsic innocence to shine through. Our real career, our sole responsibility, our task, our assignment, our focus, our gift, our challenge, our function is to “accept the Atonement” (ACIM, T-2.V.5:1) for our Self. This is a gift from our seemingly separate self to our real all-inclusive Self. These related words make frequent appearances in ACIM; the number of instances in parentheses:

• career (1) (see Lesson 298 excerpt above)
• function (459) … I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that our function IS forgiveness!
• responsibility (99)
• task (45)
• job (0)
• duty (1)
• obligation (0)
• assignment (43)
• gift (574)
• exchange (78); glad exchange (6)
• focus (34)
• achievement (68)
• accomplishment (176)
• contribution (18)
• work (104)

In this world, as egos, we try to distinguish ourselves with both “positive” and “negative” accomplishments. In the positive category, we hope to get acknowledgment for achievements that point to our separate selves (the heroes of each of our dreams) in arenas like these – all of which were taken directly from one of my past “master” résumés!

• Summaries (our elevator speeches about how wonderful our dream hero action figure is!)
• Skills (including fluency in applying the tools of our trades that make us special)
• Professional Experience (unmercifully long accounts of our mad careers?)
• Education (Another category of pride we can take in things we think we understand*)
• Publications (My blatherings in word form that hope to impress you and others of my alleged savvy and the worthiness I’m rather worried isn’t warranted at all for the silly, seemingly separate self I made up!)
• Websites, Online profiles, Social media (There are plenty of equivalent non-technical “channels” for reinforcing a separate identity apart from these contemporary technologies)
• Volunteer/Community Activities (See how great, generous and benevolent I am!)
• Awards, Honors, Licenses, Certifications, Exhibits, Interviews, Media, Kudos (need I say more?)
• Travel, Hobbies, Personal Interests (In case all these other categories of specialness might leave doubt as to my uniqueness and relative importance, all based on differences)
• Residence History (Identification with where I’m “from” or where I lived, worked, studied, etc.)

* “You are still convinced that your understanding is a powerful contribution to the truth, and makes it what it is.” (ACIM, T-18.IV.7:5)

This isn’t a suggestion that we drop our livelihoods, worldly ambitions, or anything that reflects normal self-care, self-preservation, and attention to caring for one’s home, family, community, culture, country, planet, etc. But the Course does suggest that prioritizing these ambitions in our mind at the expense of our peace constitutes needless suffering. A phrase (and section of the text) familiar to almost every Course student is: “I Need Do Nothing” (ACIM, T-18.VII)

However, the emphasis might be properly placed on the word need, since neediness is an obvious give-away clue that ego has been meddling with our mind if we succumb once again to the tyranny of needs. As always, gentle vigilance with Holy Sprit’s help to avoid level confusion is a must and will become easier over time as we notice that we can still do everything we “need” to attend to in the world, but with a gentle, more frequent smile, and actually a wider range of choices when not constrained by ego’s insistence on a narrow scope of outcomes. We can, with Holy Spirit’s help, metaphorically chew gum AND walk – we can become more mindfully forgiving AND do whatever is needed in the world without insisting that the world (or our lifestyle) or others around us change. Reference: “Are Changes Required in the Life Situation of God’s Teachers?” (ACIM, M-9)

To make an assessment of where we’ve tried (and may still be trying) to use ego thinking to manipulate the world with our mad careers and artificial values, it’s often helpful to notice how many specifics we identify with as defining our identity, both “successes and failures” which the Course reminds us we (as egos) have no real basis for evaluating:

“Prepare you now for the undoing of what never was. ²If you already understood the difference between truth and illusion, the Atonement would have no meaning. ³The holy instant, the holy relationship, the Holy Spirit’s teaching, and all the means by which salvation is accomplished, would have no purpose. ⁴For they are all but aspects of the plan to change your dreams of fear to happy dreams, from which you waken easily to knowledge. ⁵Put yourself not in charge of this, for you cannot distinguish between advance and retreat. ⁶Some of your greatest advances you have judged as failures, and some of your deepest retreats you have evaluated as success.” (ACIM, T-18.V.1:1-6)

Here are some suggestions given as a self-evaluation “Identity Workshop” that might be helpful in examining the minutiae of ego obsessions as we define our career “successes and failures”; take note of the myriad ways – ideally enlisting our Inner Kindness Teacher’s support while reviewing these without condemnation – we maintain the belief in separation by insisting on these stories about ourselves that make us unique, special, distinguished, and notorious either for “good” or “bad” results, but always different from the “others” in our physical lives – a reflection of wanting to be different from our Creator; back to that ontological authority problem!

Identity Examination Exercises:

(Important note: do these only under the supervision of Holy Spirit, please for kind honesty!)

Let’s approach looking at our identity issues (barriers in our mind to the awareness of Love’s Presence). Here are some questions we can ask ourselves about any (and ultimately every) interaction with have with “others” …

IDENTITY WORKSHEET – Looking at our choice of Identity with Jesus/HS

We have made up our fragmented identity in seemingly countless ways, so our task (with Holy Spirit’s help) is to be willing to look at how we’ve decimated our peace as each specific aspect of our projection crosses our mind and forgive ourselves for each apparent dissociation until we learn to generalize and shift our identity from a part of the whole to an Identity we share with all that has never left the Whole of the Christ Mind; we accept our Name we share with God by seeing the face of innocence in everyone and everything we meet in mind in each moment.

The following is a list of general categories that could be expanded as needed to address any and all grievances, upsets, issues, battles, worries and troubling thoughts and emotions – the entire spectrum of special hate and special love relationships. The categories below are obviously just a high level view with countless variations and further fragmentations, yet we must “choose once again” each moment with whatever seems to confront us as our forgiveness/identity classroom.

For each category it might be helpful to note particular areas of your current life situation that are “up” for you at present, and perhaps making note of subcategories of interest. You might also want to make note of categories (and/or subcategories) of events that seem to recur frequently. For example, for the category of food, perhaps food allergies are a frequent source of concern and/or annoyance, or shortages of specific foods in places where you shop for groceries.

ROWS:

These categories (and countless variations/subdivisions) could be rows in a personal chart/spreadsheet on a vertical axis:

Human Relationships (that seem to make up our identity)

Family (biological)

Mother

Father

Siblings

Other relations (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc., etc.)

Life Partners, housemates, ex-partners

Spouses, In-Laws

Children

Grandchildren

Other household inhabitants

Co-workers

Team mates

“bosses”

“subordinates”

Friends (and enemies; lifelong and ones that seem to come and go)

Neighbors

Community acquaintances, political figures, newsmakers, etc., etc.

Neighborhood

Local

County

State

Regional

National

Global

People we share the road with, share resources with, share ideas with…

People we love to hate

People we hate to love

Other relationships  (that seem to make up our identity)

Our relationship to bodies: our own and others; mortality (birth and death), sex, aging

Our relationship to our senses (projections): sight, sound, touch, taste, smell, intuitions

Our relationship to time: schedules, seasons, sleep, holidays, memories of “lost loved ones”

Our relationship to space: our house and property, upkeep, chores, environment, pests

Our relationship to matter: things that we find seem disgusting, boring, arousing, annoying

Our relationship to energy: utilities and conservation (attitudes about), our “personal energy”

Our relationship to food: dietary restrictions, preferences, un/acceptable foods, behaviors

Our relationship to health: medicine, viruses, germs, accidents, drugs, practitioners, facilities

Our relationship to weather, temperature, humidity, physical security, climate change

Our relationship to clothing and appearance: hygiene, attire, hairstyles, judgments of all sorts

Our relationship to money: savings, economic fluctuations, inflation, greed, lack, etc.

Our relationship to technology: computer hw/sw, cell phones, TV, radio, GPS, gadgets

Our relationship to transportation/mobility: restrictions, convenience, vacations, shopping

Our relationship to entertainment: music, art, movies, celebrity culture, sports, reading

Our relationship to ACIM: books, teachers, classes, study groups, “good or bad” curricula

Lots of other possible categories!

COLUMNS

These categories (and countless variations/subdivisions) could be columns in a personal chart/spreadsheet on a horizontal axis:

Past (sins we’ve projected mostly unconscious)

Birth, infancy recollections

Childhood memories

adolescent memories

young adult memories

… recent memories

Present (unconscious, unfounded guilt that interferes with forgiving now)

Future dreads, hopes, fears, pre-programmed disappointments, cynicism

Times of each hour, day, week, month, season, year, etc. we like or dislike, expectations

Other ways we divide time or other dimensions of thought

CELLS

For each “cell” (opportunity to imprison or forgive) in our chart/spreadsheet, note what we’ve thought, felt or are still harboring as an important value that makes up our identity, and ask HS for help in seeing these specifics differently; choose once again!

• The Responsibility for Sight (ACIM, T-21.II) (page 448 in the English 3rd Edition)
• I Need Do Nothing (ACIM, T-18.VII) (page 388 in the English 3rd Edition)

“I need do nothing except not to interfere.” (ACIM, T-16.I.3:12)

This video was recorded on October 10, 2022.